My First Time Father Thoughts

First of all, sorry to leave you all hanging with Labor Time Machine. Secondly, thanks to all the well wishes and words of encouragement. Here’s the tale of the tape. April 03, 2012, 5:20pm, 7 lbs. 15 oz. 21 inch healthy baby boy.

Sleep Deprivation

All fathers who pre-warned me weren’t kidding. I thought I had it under control. I could throw in a few short power naps to get through. I was pushed to my physical limits not reached since cramming for finals in college.

Mental Anxiety

Although I was extremely happy that my wife and baby were fine and healthy, I was almost overcome by negative anxiety. Thankfully, I turned to my family during a break to talk it out. One sticking point, I spent the last few years finding myself. I was identifying my passions, finally looking out for number one, and living a fulfilled life within my means. In one shot, I’m not number one again. Secondly, I’m the most capable that I’ve ever been and getting used to this level of confidence. In one swoop, I feel lost and inadequate yet again.

Stopwatch Life

With recommended feedings every two to three hours, life feels compressed. Actually it’s having a curfew on steroids. Like contractions, you have limited time to be productive in between baby naps after feedings. My friend reminded me to get used to this for the next eighteen years. Thanks!

Wise Words

In a moment of weakness, I confessed to my wife that this is going to be a struggle. She calmly retorted, “It will be a struggle if I think it will be.” Did I marry Yoda?

Single Parent Struggle

I’m pretty wiped out even though my wife is pitching in. I don’t know how a single parent manages. I have a new found respect for you all.

Not ready? Don’t

I’m still in a dream, but I felt I was about ready to be a father. My marriage and career were in order and I was finding my personal passions as well. If you are not set on your dream career and passions, nothing will turn your world upside down more than having a baby. You will most likely divorce, break up, or forever hate your partner for putting you into this predicament.

Final Thoughts

It sounds like sour grapes or I’m not happy with my new life. On the contrary, I will end with my miracle memory. Everything else doesn’t matter when my new baby is in my arms looking innocently up at me. I cannot lie. After catching our collected breaths, my wife and I had tears of joy. Although I have some self-doubt, I am emboldened to push forward. I now have a little one depending on me. Just like George Kirk, Captain Kirk’s father, sacrificing his life for his newly born son. I would do the same as I’m sure all you good fathers out there would.

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25 Responses

  1. I remember leaving the hospital with our baby and wondering why the hospital thought we were capable of caring for a child. Luckily, parenting suited us well and our baby just graduated college 🙂 Congrats, you are in for the time of your life! There’s nothing quite like being a parent.

  2. Congrats, Buck! Wishing you all the best, and maybe I join your ranks in a couple of years from now. 😉

  3. krantcents says:

    It has been so long since we had newborns in the house, but you never stop being a parent. If you invest the time to create a positive relationship with your child, the rest is easy or at least easier. Congratulations.

  4. ShortRoadTo says:

    That is why your mother is always on speed dial. She can always answer any question or concern you might have. I called my mother 100s of times the first few months after my son was born.

  5. MoneyCone says:

    Congratulations Buck! Try to get some sleep! 🙂

  6. Congratulation Buck!
    You are having a rough time now, but it will get better. Babies are so cute. 🙂

  7. Congrats Buck,

    Hope you have a good relationship with your parents and in-laws as they can be of great help, particularly later on when you’re looking for someone to babysit 🙂

  8. Hunter says:

    Congratulations, great news. Sorry for my late contact, we’re out of town shopping for a house in Louisiana. I feel you’re exhaustion, having been there three times I know that beach new baby shocks your system as they are completely dependent on you. That self doubt is normal and will make you be an awesome Dad. Sleep when your baby does, but try not to eat every 3 hours or you’ll never dunk like
    Jordan again. Being a family is the best.

  9. Congrats, Buck!! Wishing you & your family nothing but the best. Enjoy these new stages, even if they are overwhelming–the memories you’re creating right now are priceless 🙂

  10. 101 Centavos says:

    Congratulations, Buck. A good night’s sleep is something can look forward to… in a couple years. 🙂

  11. Thanks for sharing all your thoughts. In my opinion, you fill nervous ’cause child broke your lifestyle, your rules and habits. Only after moments like these, you are starting to respect your parents 10 times more. Call your parents, say thanks.

  12. Congratulations! My newbie is about 2 weeks older than your son. I am glad everything went well.

  1. April 22, 2012

    […] My First Time Father Thoughts at Buck Inspire […]

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