Do Girls Have It Easier, Superman?
When I was younger, my guy friends and I came to the conclusion that girls had it easier when it comes to the dating scene. At the time, it made perfect sense. You see it all the time in movies, in the clubs, and the bars. There is always a steady stream of guys lining up to chat up a girl. Sam’s friend Tracy experienced this a lot in her 20’s, but now sees finding love gets harder as we grow older. Over the weekend, I was forced to re-examine my old theory.
Are Guys Just Unware?
My wife, her friend (Debbie), and I caught up over drinks at a lounge. We ran into a few other friends as well. We were snapping pictures and a friend of a friend offered to take our picture. Afterwards, this guy starts chatting up my wife and her friend. I thought it was all harmless fun. Throughout the evening, he hovered around Debbie. He was intrigued, but it was obvious she was not interested. She kept her distance and was not very responsive to his questions. He came and went a few times. On another fly by, he saw his chance as my wife and I were preoccupied with another couple. He cornered Debbie and moved in for the kill. It was like a leopard chasing down the slowest deer in the pack. He kept wanting to shake her hand, but was also invading her personal space. Debbie was so bothered, she blurted out an excuse that she had to find her friend and stormed off. Was this guy drunk? Totally oblivious? Thought she was playing hard to get? Doesn’t take no for an answer? Thankfully Debbie was ok and that was the last time we saw him. He finally caught the hint.
Pon Farr the Barbarian
As we caught our collected breath from Bachelor #1, meet Bachelor #2. He spotted my wife and her friend and started excitedly screaming, “Hey let’s take some shots!” I thought he was an old friend of theirs. He was hooting and hollering to get the shot girl to come over. He talks up my wife and Debbie and come to find out that he is another friend of a friend. He finally noticed I was there and asked who I was. I joked I was the two girls’ bodyguard. He was a little tipsy as he playfully put up his dukes. I chuckled and thought to myself, “This guy is more of a piece of work than the first one.” After taking shots, he chats us up a little more. I tried to be friendly as he seemed nice enough. A danceable song came up and he was itching to dance. He screamed to the girls, “Let’s dance!” The girls didn’t want to and stared blankly at each other. Debbie must have used some pheromones because Bachelor #2 latches on to her arm and proceeds to try and tug her out of her seat. “Come on! Let’s dance!” Any person with a pulse could have seen Debbie was not at all interested and was beginning to fear for her safety. But Bachelor #2 had only one thing on his mind. My previous Clark Kent self normally wouldn’t mettle, but I felt compelled to act and save Debbie as Bachelor the Barbarian was about to tear off her arm. I used my assertive crisis management and told him to cut it out. Thankfully, hearing my voice snapped him out of his trance. He looked like Spock going through Pon Farr (Vulcan mating season)! Cooler heads prevailed and no fisticuffs were needed.
When I was younger, I was clueless about the birds and bees. Perhaps my friends and I clung to our theory that girls had it easier to justify our own struggles. Sour grapes? Perhaps. If girls want oblivious men in heat who think their caveman style of courting works, the supply is endless. However, if they are looking for a man of quality, I am now letting go of my old theory. Girls do not have it easier as you can clearly see. Finally, guys, I’m all for being confident, determined, and persistent. But if the girl you are pursuing cringes from you like you are a stalker or has a look of horror as her arm is about to be detached from her body, your approach needs some work. Be aware, don’t forget your manners, and be a gentleman. If not, you’ll make the Roxbury Guys look like master pickup artists.