Do Girls Have It Easier, Superman?

When I was younger, my guy friends and I came to the conclusion that girls had it easier when it comes to the dating scene. At the time, it made perfect sense. You see it all the time in movies, in the clubs, and the bars. There is always a steady stream of guys lining up to chat up a girl. Sam’s friend Tracy experienced this a lot in her 20’s, but now sees finding love gets harder as we grow older. Over the weekend, I was forced to re-examine my old theory.

Are Guys Just Unware?

My wife, her friend (Debbie), and I caught up over drinks at a lounge. We ran into a few other friends as well. We were snapping pictures and a friend of a friend offered to take our picture. Afterwards, this guy starts chatting up my wife and her friend. I thought it was all harmless fun. Throughout the evening, he hovered around Debbie. He was intrigued, but it was obvious she was not interested. She kept her distance and was not very responsive to his questions. He came and went a few times. On another fly by, he saw his chance as my wife and I were preoccupied with another couple. He cornered Debbie and moved in for the kill. It was like a leopard chasing down the slowest deer in the pack. He kept wanting to shake her hand, but was also invading her personal space. Debbie was so bothered, she blurted out an excuse that she had to find her friend and stormed off. Was this guy drunk? Totally oblivious? Thought she was playing hard to get? Doesn’t take no for an answer? Thankfully Debbie was ok and that was the last time we saw him. He finally caught the hint.

Pon Farr the Barbarian

As we caught our collected breath from Bachelor #1, meet Bachelor #2. He spotted my wife and her friend and started excitedly screaming, “Hey let’s take some shots!” I thought he was an old friend of theirs. He was hooting and hollering to get the shot girl to come over. He talks up my wife and Debbie and come to find out that he is another friend of a friend. He finally noticed I was there and asked who I was. I joked I was the two girls’ bodyguard. He was a little tipsy as he playfully put up his dukes. I chuckled and thought to myself, “This guy is more of a piece of work than the first one.” After taking shots, he chats us up a little more. I tried to be friendly as he seemed nice enough. A danceable song came up and he was itching to dance. He screamed to the girls, “Let’s dance!” The girls didn’t want to and stared blankly at each other. Debbie must have used some pheromones because Bachelor #2 latches on to her arm and proceeds to try and tug her out of her seat. “Come on! Let’s dance!” Any person with a pulse could have seen Debbie was not at all interested and was beginning to fear for her safety. But Bachelor #2 had only one thing on his mind. My previous Clark Kent self normally wouldn’t mettle, but I felt compelled to act and save Debbie as Bachelor the Barbarian was about to tear off her arm. I used my assertive crisis management and told him to cut it out. Thankfully, hearing my voice snapped him out of his trance. He looked like Spock going through Pon Farr (Vulcan mating season)! Cooler heads prevailed and no fisticuffs were needed.

Final Thoughts

When I was younger, I was clueless about the birds and bees. Perhaps my friends and I clung to our theory that girls had it easier to justify our own struggles. Sour grapes? Perhaps. If girls want oblivious men in heat who think their caveman style of courting works, the supply is endless. However, if they are looking for a man of quality, I am now letting go of my old theory. Girls do not have it easier as you can clearly see. Finally, guys, I’m all for being confident, determined, and persistent. But if the girl you are pursuing cringes from you like you are a stalker or has a look of horror as her arm is about to be detached from her body, your approach needs some work. Be aware, don’t forget your manners, and be a gentleman. If not, you’ll make the Roxbury Guys look like master pickup artists.

Stay Inspired!

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31 Responses

  1. Superman and the Barbarian! lol. Love those examples!

    Come on, admit it, your wife’s friend must been a hot PF blogger! No other reason why she’d attract so many dudes.

    You’re right though… what a PITA to always be hit on be annoying folks. I would ask my friends to pre-screen for me if I were her. And avoid pick up joint settings of course 🙂


    • Buck Inspire says:

      Thanks! As you can tell I have a vivid imagination. She’s a hottie, plus she’s kind of shy, too. Deadly combo for barbarians! We were there just to catch up over drinks in a little corner of the lounge. Maybe next time we need to make a sign, “We’re just catching up with each other tonight. Nothing personal, thanks!”

      • Tell her to head over to FS’ love get harder post.
        She needs to take advantage of her hotness before it’s gone. 🙂

        • Buck Inspire says:

          Funny thing. We actually should all use hotness when we are young, especially saving, investing, and retirement planning! Ok that was a stretch, but people really should take advantage of life’s opportunities when time is on their side.

  2. krantcents says:

    It is all perception! I think it is easier to say no than risk rejection every time you ask a girl out. I guess nothing has changed since my dating days, bars are still a free for all meat market. I am pretty happy I am not in the market.

  3. I do think girls have it easier as far as quantity goes, but not so much for quality. Personally, I’d rather meet one decent guy than 100 idiots, but the nice guys must be at some kind of convention where girls can’t find them. Or they’re just too polite to come up to a stranger and try to kidnap her!

    • Buck Inspire says:

      You hit it on the head. Quantity, but not so much quality. When I was younger, I didn’t know any better. All I saw was the quantity aspect. Besides the 100 idiots to one decent guy ratio, it seems more challenging these days with the internet and all the tech gadgets we have. Funny, there’s no happy medium. You have guys who are too polite or barbarians!

    • Completely agree with Andrea! Give me the quality over the quantity any day. There’s nothing more annoying than a sex pest who doesn’t get the message. How to shift them, eh? In my experience a stiletto heel to said sex pest’s toe works a treat.

  4. MoneyCone says:

    Your post reminded me of the bar scene from the 40 year old virgin where Steve Carell is coached on how to go in for the kill!

    Maybe this guy decided to try this out in real life!!

  5. Sounds like Debbie was really hot! I had friends in college where guys would freak out if they could get her alone on the dance floor. Luckily, most didn’t bother our group.

    When I was younger (and until maybe 5 years ago), I would see hot girls that dressed down to hide their figures and that fact that they were beautiful. I use to think that they were naive and if they did themselves up the would be hot. Now I realize that they knew that they were hot and got tired of being hit on all the time. Funny that it took me so long to realize that huh.

    So I think it’s hard for women because they can’t be as beautiful as they could be because of cavemen trying to score…

    I love the Roxbury Guys skits! I even enjoyed the movie too!

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Like I said before, hot, but kind of shy, too. Guess that drives guys crazy? Odd, I kind of like it when they’re a little more spunky, but that’s just me.

      Very observant of you. Didn’t realize hot girls dressed down to avoid getting hit on. I notice girls would bunch together sometimes for strength in numbers. Not funny at all. It took me this long to realize quality trumps quantity. I saw the skits, but never caught the Roxbury movie. Might have to check it out!

  6. you reminded me off college days when we used to hunt 🙂

  7. Men never fail to amaze me. When I was in China about 7 years ago, I was so excited to go to a club. I love house/techno music. When we entered the club, there were quite a few Caucasian men and lots of Chinese women. You could tell that the guys were sent over for business.

    My husband grabbed a drink and we headed for the dance floor. The gentleman kept trying to dance with me…I figured that he would look and notice that both my husband and I had wedding rings on. Obviously, I was off limits…

    The other thing that was baffling as well was that I was SIX months pregnant and not a small pregnant woman (I was asked by a different gentleman the day before if I was due any day…I forgave him b/c he was not married and didn’t know better). If this aggressive dancer had missed my wedding band, there was no way he could have missed my tummy.

    He finally got the hint, if not, Mr. Super Frugalette would have taken him down…

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Wow, your story’s got me beat! Dancing with husband, wedding bands, and six month pregnant? Wow, men are even more dense than I thought? I’m blown away. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad it turned out peacefully. Although it would have been hilarious if Mr. SF laid that aggressive dancer out!

  8. FinEngr says:

    Tomaitoes, Tomattoes…

    Some call it Type A personality, others refer to it as lacking social awareness…
    “I don’t take no for an answer” may work in an interview, but not with a police officer!

    What an entertaining read.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Type A personalities at work is fine. Not sure if these were Type A personalities. Hard to say, did cavemen have personalities? All they did was grunt. Thanks and glad you enjoyed it!

  9. I think we both have it just as hard. Like Krant said it is in perception. All I can really say is I am glad I am no longer on the market. I hated having to make such an effort to try to find Mr. Right. I had to go through plenty of jerks before the right one came along. In some ways I think girls have to work harder and impressing guys.

  10. I really liked this story… I still say girls have it easier in general, when it comes to bars/clubs and getting in them..and the attention hungry are primed to get their fix…but as you said, they will be pestered to no end.

    Good job, I actually really enjoyed reading this article…my friends and I used to say the same thing all the time.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      I agree girls have it easier with free cover and drinks. But looking deeper, in terms of finding quality, maybe not so much. Glad you enjoyed it and letting me know my friends and I weren’t the only ones who felt that way!

  11. It is much easier for women to be intimidated then men realize.

    When I was in Japan and had met Paul (now my husband:)), there was another person in the military with big scary sunglasses on. He approached me while Paul and I were clearly talking and together. He whispered horrible things in my ears, and then stared me down. I went to the other side of Paul for him to block him, and he still came around to the other side to try and get me.

    Paul finally got so angry that he pushed the guy away. The guy went across the room (a rather large room), and kept staring at me all night in a very stalking way. We told the security guards because we were sure he was waiting for us outside for when we left.

    What a creepy night!

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Oh my goodness. First Super Frugalette’s story and now yours? I didn’t intend for women to relive their horrible club stories. I had no idea it was so bad out there. Didn’t realize how creepy guys can be. Guess I wouldn’t really know since I am a guy. Thanks for enlightening me and sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad nothing worse came out of it.

  12. Forest says:

    I can’t imagine how frustrating it would be to be stared at all night and have slime bags hitting on me :(….. Glad I am not single and glad I am not a woman in that sense.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Oh, that would make a great movie! Similar to the Change-Up, imagine a slime ball who always hits on women. He gets magically transformed into a beautiful woman and goes through what he puts women through. I dunno, sounds like a blockbuster to me!

  13. Love the description. Apart from the moments of terror, it sounded like an entertaining evening out. People watching is a fascinating sport that makes for easy entertainment if the opportunity presents itself. It’s hard to pick the cave-man types, unless they are in the zone: out, drinking. It’s hard to say which gender faces more challenges. I can definitely visualize Buck Inspire stepping-in to save his friend, no cape required.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      People watching is fascinating! Maybe should start up another series, haha. I’m sure most people would step in. I like to write about those moments because my previous self would have chosen not to engage in a potential confrontation.

  1. August 21, 2011

    […] Inspire questions whether Girls really do have it easier than Guys. Do Girls Have It Easier, Superman? HIGH Quality […]

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