My First Taste Of Haterade

All my life, I’ve played it safe, flew under the radar, and did my best not to ruffle anyone’s feathers. I hated confrontation and did my best to avoid it. I shiver when I see haters tear down successful people. Ironically it’s this fear that holds me back from more success. For better or worse, I finally tasted my own Haterade.

After more than a year at my current job, I’m stepping out of the background and taking the lead on a handful of projects. One in particular has been a thorn in my side for months. I am installing a new piece of software throughout the company. However, it crashes one of our newest desktop model.

Some of my teammates have given me some good natured ribbing. This model has baffled our vendor’s engineering team for weeks. I finally got a solution. Upgrade to their latest version and the crashes will stop. I gleefully informed the team and proceeded to install on some test machines. Things were going smoothly as the software installed fine. I proudly emailed the team that we are now in the clear.

The next day I noticed one of my test machines had crashed. In my haste and my excitement for finding a fix, I forgot to observe the machine after a reboot. I rebooted a second machine and it also crashed. I was embarrassed to fire off another email to halt the use of the so called fix, but I had to prevent my teammates from bringing down any production machines.

Here’s where the fun starts. After I sent out my email warning the team not to use my fix, I get a phone call from one of my teammates asking for help on another issue. As we were working together, I overheard another teammate say, “Can you believe all those emails Buck is sending?” A ruckus goes on, but my phone goes mute as the person on the line cuts off the conversation before my other teammate can put his foot in his mouth.

As I sat there in silence, I wondered, “Am I getting hated on? This is what I’ve been fearing all my life? This isn’t so bad. If I were in his shoes I would begin to question my competency as well.”

Ironically the fear of getting hated on was worst than the actual hating. What is that phrase? Nothing to fear but fear itself? It’s so true. Perhaps my self esteem is now strong enough to handle it? Whatever the case may be, here are some thoughts that crossed my mind.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Who am I to think that everyone around me will only have positive thoughts about me. It’s probably my insecurity raising its ugly head. Honestly, if I were him, I would have felt the exact same way. I also have to remember his negative opinion about me has no bearing on my self worth and I shouldn’t run with it and beat myself silly.

I can’t please everyone. With all the different personalities, styles, and priorities, is it realistic to think that everyone would get along all the time? I should take this incident and motivate myself to do even better in future projects rather than crumble and lose confidence at the first sign of doubt. There are times when you are at the mercy of third-party vendors. If there is a lesson learned, I need to do my due diligence even though a solution was found after weeks of frustration.

Final Thoughts

Now that I finally tasted Haterade, something I tried so hard to avoid, I hope to free my writing from always being vanilla, politically correct, and safe. I really have been flying below the radar for too long. Fear just plays tricks with our minds and paralyzes us from reaching our full potential.

How do you handle being hated on?

Stay Inspired!
Buck

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20 Responses

  1. Hate ain’t so bad. It means someone is listening!

    I have tons of haters and it provides me so much inspiration to carry on. If I had nobody hating what I wrote, it’s just too easy to relax. To the haters I salute them! I wouldn’t be where I am now without out em 🙂

    • eemusings says:

      Too true! Any reaction > no reaction. Controversy is always great for traffic, too.

      I imagine there’s something quite freeing about having your fears come true (and live to tell the tale). Now you know what the worst is and that it’s not soooo terrible after all.

      • Buck Inspire says:

        I need to change my formula. Before I thought no reaction > negative reaction. Better late than never. Don’t think I’ll be going the shock jock route, but really to rid myself of the “no reaction” thinking. Yes it wasn’t soo terrible. Thanks!

    • Buck Inspire says:

      True Sam! I think I feared hate so much that I would avoid it even at the cost of no one listening. Bad Buck! Can we say the level of success you have can be measured by your amount of haters? Congrats for having so many haters, haha!

  2. I don’t usually get hated on, but have experienced before. I actually got some hate email from a post that I put up last week. It was controversial, but many people were cordial about it. I had a few that emailed me some hate mail, but what irritated me was that they were also hating on my wife and that pissed me off. I can handle hatred toward me, but there is no reason to bring my wife into it.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      What’s the link? Would love to read it. Sorry to hear about the attacks on your wife. Some folks have nothing better to do. Totally uncalled for and more power to ya Grayson!

  3. I love haters! It lets you know you’re either doing something right or getting on people’s radar. As long as you’re constantly improving yourself there’s no need to pay attention to haters.

  4. Joe says:

    I don’t like haters. They are just too distracting. I don’t need that to motivate me. I guess it depends on your personality. I would react about the same as you did… Just ignore it and get on with my life.

  5. krantcents says:

    Change is difficult! You have to get your team to buy into the change and stop the “hate”. It’s easy to stand on the sidelines and just pick things apart. Everyone on the team needs to take responsibility and help come up with a solution.

  6. Arlee Bird says:

    Receiving hate is unpleasant, frustrating, and provocative. Since I’m not one who likes confrontation I usually try to counter with niceness and an invitation for the person to give me their advice. If that doesn’t work then I might use a dose of subtle sarcasm or maybe just walk away. Sometimes the latter does leave me seething inside, but I usually get over things pretty quickly.

    Lee
    A Faraway View
    An A to Z Co-host blog

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Sounds like we have similar personalities Lee. I try to disarm the situation with niceness and humor, too. There are times when the hate is so intense, don’t think my normal tactics will work. Funny, this intense hate has never happened to me because I never allow myself to get into those situations. What’s happening is I’m imagining getting overwhelmed by intense hate because I don’t have the capacity to handle it properly. My mind playing tricks on me again. Thanks!

  7. I try to avoid this type of this also. As I get older, I am starting to realize that I am not here to please everyone. Always a hater somewhere..

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