Conflict Resolution Process

Have you ever noticed tensions run higher during the holidays? Wonder why that is. Is it because there are more events with family, co-workers, and in-laws? Normally I am pretty even keeled and mellow, but there are times when I totally lose it with someone because we’re not seeing eye to eye. It’s been a personal goal of mine to keep these flare ups to a minimum. I believe I finally found an effective process.

Stay Calm

If two people arenโ€™t on the same page, unchecked emotions can easily add fuel to the fire. If two people are very passionate about opposing views (think politics) emotional outbursts can be taken as personal attacks. The other person will then flare up, unproductive barbs, increase in volume, temper tantrums, and possibly even fisticuffs. Let’s nip this in the bud from the start by checking our emotions.

Acknowledge Opposing View

Even if the person you are conflicted with has a point of view completely against your belief system, try your best to acknowledge and understand it. The last thing anyone wants is to have their passionate point of view ignored, dismissed, or made fun of. This one simple step greatly reduces the chance of the conflict escalating. I recall a few heated disagreements where I flew off the handle and what was a small disagreement exploded into something much worse.

Focus On Solutions

After calmly hearing the other side, use your energy and time working on a solution or compromise where both parties are satisfied. Just like no one wants their point of view to be overrun; no one likes to leave a conflict completely empty handed. If you both work hard enough, keep an open mind and respect the other person, solutions and compromises can be found quicker.

How do you deal with conflicts and opposing points of views?

Stay Inspired!
Buck

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15 Responses

  1. From among the different points mentioned, I agree with the last one the most. It is always best to focus on solutions instead of fighting over who is right and maybe, coming up with a compromise that both parties could work with.

  2. Good post Buck! I need to keep this in mind as my father’s side (all of them) are visiting us for Christmas and staying with us too. My goal is to not go all Clark Griswold on them. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think for me is just staying calm and realizing that it’s ok to disagree with someone, it doesn’t have to be up to me to change their mind.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Good Luck John! We wouldn’t want you going Clark Griswold on anyone. Great point about it’s ok to disagree with someone! Sometimes I try too hard to get everyone on the same page.

  3. Krantcents says:

    It depends! If I am in the adult world I usually have control over my emotions. When I teach (high school), I always have the option of removing the conflict. In my classroom, I have to resolve conflicts or I can lose the whole class.

  4. Staying calm and acknowledging the opposing view is crucial! I also try to inject humor when appropriate–typically at the end of a particularly rough conversation.

  5. Arlee Bird says:

    This is a tough one. I have some strong beliefs and opinions that clash with those of some of my other family members. I tend to be calm by nature, but I can also get heatedly passionate. I’m working on this. I hate to see my beliefs minimized because I think I’m right. Mostly I try to avoid issues unless others strongly feel the need to discuss them. Then I will stand up for what I believe and hopefully make others understand where I’m coming from.

    Calm, rational approach is best with a clear view of what the opposition is offering.

    • Buck Inspire says:

      Glad you’re working on it Lee, but you make a good point about not rolling over. I think the key here is balance. We can’t go too far one way or the other. Thanks for the counterpoint!

  6. Untemplater says:

    I’ve been super stressed lately and have really been on edge at work. I need to keep reminding myself to stay calm and shake things off. I feel like I have more projects going on this month than I’ve had the rest of the year. Time for me to go meditate.

  7. In-laws are always so fun. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I wouldn’t want someone dictating to me how to think and feel and so I try to extend that courtesy and respect to others. A clash in views can be refreshing, actually; it is offering me a whole new perspective that I may not have considered. If the reasoning seems absurd I recognize that and dismiss the ‘fluff’ from the argument. But usually if I really listen instead of trying to assert myself, the others’ opinion contains a few salient points to productively focus on.

  1. December 7, 2012

    […] Conflict Resolution Process on Buck Inspire […]

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